Randomness of the DX and The Hardyz Crew 101
by ItsRainingInsidee
Summary: Random Halarious Things between the Hardy's and DX. Includes many more people! "Shawn's Captain Underpants!"
1. Skittles Makes Everything Better!

Shawn and Jeff walked out of the coffee shop with all kinds of things. "Oh my god Hunter! Look at my plush lion! Rawr!" Shawn said as he put it in Triple H's face.

"What the hell? Get that fucking lion away from me!!!" Hunter said angrily.

"Sheesh. Someone's not in a good mood!" said Jeff.

"Your damn right I'm not in a good mood!!!" Hunter argued back.

"I know what you need. You need skittles." Said Jeff. "DUH! Everything's better with skittles!" Jeff said putting skittles in the air.

"And Jeff, how many packets of skittles did you order?!" Hunter asked suspiciously hoping Jeff won't get hyper for eating too many skittles.

"Nine." Jeff started. "Hundred."

"NINE HUNDRED BAGS OF SKITTLES?!?!? WE NEEDED THAT MONEY FOR SOMETHING IMPORTANT!!!" Triple H said glaring at Jeff.

"Wow. Why so cranky?" Matt asked as he came back with a Popsicle.

"Because! Stephanie and I can't have sex because she's on her period!!!" hunter said grabbing Matt's Popsicle and throwing it on the floor.

"HEY!!!" Said Matt. "Just because she's moody and bitchy doesn't mean you have to take it out on us!!!"

Hunter quickly pulled out a sledgehammer from out of nowhere. "Don't push it Hardy."

"I'm Captain Underpants!!!" said Shawn singing. "Oh I'm captain underpants ready to kick you in your ass! oh I'm captain underpants Cena smells like shit and rats!!!!" Shawn sang as he began to strip.

"NO SHAWN! DON'T GET NUDE!!!" Matt shouted.

"But Captain Underpants is naked! Well, all he wears is underwear! So I'll only wear Underwear!" Said Shawn as he only left on his underwear.

"Ow!! It burns!!!" shouted Jeff.

"Let me see if I can fly!" Said Shawn as he climbed onto the Empire State Building.

"NO Shawn N- Eh. Too Late." Said Matt.

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!" Said Shawn as he fell down. "HOLY CRAP! I CAN'T FLY!!" Said Shawn as he hit the floor.

"Duh…" Hunter mumbled.

"OWEEE! MY WHOLE BODY HURTS!" Said Shawn.

"Here, Shawn. Have some Skittles!" Said Jeff. "Skittles makes everything better!!"

As Shawn went to grab some Skittles, Jeff quickly snatched it away. "No Way Shawn! Get your own Skittles!" said Jeff.

"But-!"

"NO! Get up Shawn!!"

"But I'm Hurt!!!" Yelled Shawn.

"THEN HAVE SOME SKITTLES!!! SKITTLES MAKES EVERYTHING BETTER!!" said Jeff.

"UGH!" Shawn said as he slapped his head. "OW!"

"See Shawn! This is what you get for being a SuperHero!!"


	2. Sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeettttt Chin Music!

Shawn has bubble juice. He dumped his stick in there and blew a bubble. "HaHa mine is bigger Jeff!"

"Is not! Mines is!!" said Jeff.

"Jeff, it's pronounced mine not mines."

What the hell are those two idiots up to? Though hhh as he heard both their voices through the hallway.

"No Jeff! Mine is way bigger than yours! Just look at it!"

'Better yet, I don't wanna find out.' Said triple h.

"Well let's just go ask someone!!" said Jeff.

"Oh boy." Triple h muttered. "I gotta hide." He quickly saw Maria and grabbed her before Jeff and Shawn discovered he was behind her.

"Ria! Hey!" Jeff and Shawn shouted.

"Um hi."

"Hey Ree can you tell us whose bubble is bigger?" asked Jeff.

"Um I don't think that's necessary. But-."

"OK. So whose is bigger?" asked Jeff as they both blew a bubble.

"Um. I think Jeff's is…" said Maria.

"NO it isn't!" shouted Shawn as he ran around the whole arena crying. Then Hunter cmae out from behind Maria.

"Holy crap Hunter you scared me!" said Jeff putting his right hand on his stomach.

"Um Jeff isn't your hand supposed to go on your heart?" asked Maria and Hunter.

"This _is_ my heart!" said Jeff still pointing to his stomach.

"Damn Hardy. And what age are you? Early thirties? Fuck, your retarded." Said HHH.

"What about Shawn? He's like-?" started Matt.

"Say my age I kill you!!" shouted Shawn.

Matt smiled. "Sure. Sure, whatever. HE'S FOURTY THREE!!"

"OH THAT'S IT!!!!!" shouted Shawn. He chased him everywhere then Shawn hid around a bush for his plan. Then, when Matt turned around, Shawn gave him sweet-chin music.

"Ooooo…That's some sweet-chin music!" shouted Shawn.


	3. Sweeeeeeeeeeeettttt Chin Music Part Two!

"LaLaLaLa!" Jeff was singing. "Oh hey Maria! Wanna come over for a sleepover?" he asked.

"Um, Sure…Who's going?" she asked as watching him eat a red skittle.

"Well, me, you, and I think that's it… Oh look! There's Hunter! Hey Hunter! Wanna come over for a sleepover?"

"YES! YES! YES!" Hunter said in the gayest voice ever.

"What's with you?" asked Shawn coming back looking horrified.

"Stephanie isn't PMSing so we did it!" said Hunter Happily.

"Um ew…" everyone said.

"And you Shawn? You looked like you just killed somebody?!" asked Hunter.

"Ahh! Your onto me! Are you a spy?!" Asked Shawn.

"'d you hurt?"

"Matt… He's in a hospital cause of me…"

Hunter was surprised seeing Jeff not caring. "And you Jeff? Are you going to do something about it?"

"Nope." He said.

"And why is that?" Hunter asked raising up an eyebrow.

"Cause. I'm enjoying these skittles." Said Jeff as he plopped an orange one into his mouth. "OMG. I got an idea!!!"

"Uh oh. I'm outta here! Bye!" said Maria as she tried to leave.

"NO way, if we're doing it, you're doing it with us." Said Shawn as he grabbed her arm and she groaned. "Okay Jeff. What's your idea?"

"I'm going to make a skittles commercial! I'm the director/producer/actor/writer/music artist/ make-up artist person! And no one's going to copy me!! Because my motto is unique. My motto is, "Feel the rainbow! Taste the rainbow!" said Jeff grinning.

"Um Jeff, Sorry to burst you bubble, but the motto has already been made…" said Maria.

"Damn Script writers! Um let's see, "fear the Hardy, but don't fear the rainbow!" how's that?" Jeff asked.

"Um, OK." Said Shawn.

"Okay then! Were going to need to go to Michaels' Craft Store to make some things. Like, we're going to need yarn! YES! Lots and lots of yarn!!" Yelled Jeff leaving everyone confused.

"Why the hell do we need yarn??!" Asked Triple H.

"For the colors of the rainbow! DUH!"

"Oh how could I forget? Yarn for the color of the rainbow. Silly me." Said Hunter being sarcastic.

"Oh yeah Maria and Hunter and Shawn, we'll have the sleepover the day after tomorrow." Said Jeff. Then Jeff caught a glimpse of Randy Orton as he was trying to go to the Male locker room without Jeff noticing. "HEY BUDDY!"

"What the hell do you want? Didn't you hear? This RKO sexy body is for 'Ladies only'. Last time I checked, you were a girl!" said Randy Orton.

"BUURRRRRNNNN!!!" Yelled Shawn doing an impression of Kelso from _That's 70's Show_.

"Shawn you got to stop watching that's 70's show!" Said Hunter rolling his eyes.

"What? What RKO just said was a major burnage!" Said Shawn.

"Oh yeah? Well Shawn, if you don't shut up, I'm going to twist-of-fate your grandpa head!!" Yelled Jeff. "Lets leave and let Mister Randy Orton be." Said Jeff as they all walked away.

"Sorry you have to miss out on the Orton-factor Ria!" Yelled Randy.

You know? Usually, Maria was supposed to slap Randy by then. But Shawn s_weet-chinned yet another person._

"Shawn! You gotta stop hurting people!" Yelled Triple H.

"Sorry…"


	4. Best SevenEleven Trip EVER

Hunter was dressed as a medieval pirate. He sighed. "Remind me again why I approved to do this…" he mumbled.

"Well, I said that if you didn't do it, I would tell Stephanie that your gay and you kissed me." Said Jeff smirking.

"Damn you…" Triple H said. "Okay, so let's get this crap over with…"

"Ok…" said Jeff. "AAAANNNDDD ACTION!"

"ANNNNDD CUT! Wait, Jeff! We don't even have scripts!!" said Shawn.

"Well, you were supposed to buy a Snickers Bar! Where is it at Shawn?!" said Jeff.

"In my…um, Stomach…"

"You idiot!"

Maria spoke up. "Yeah! Now you get to go back to Seven-Eleven and buy two more!"

"Wait. Why two?" asked Jeff and Hunter.

"Just incase he eats one more! Or even maybe the WHOLE store!"

"Ohhh. Now that you put it that way, I'll go instead…" said Hunter.

"STOP RIGHT THERE MISTER!" said Shawn. "YOU AREN'T GOING ANYWHERE WITHOUT ME!"

"No Shawn! You can't come! It's going to start too much chaos!" Said Hunter. "Damn I feel like Marge from _The Simpsons_." He mumbled which Shawn caught.

"Ohh! Yay! Were playing the Simpsons?! I want to be Apu!" Said Shawn. "Hello people welcome to the Quick-E-Mart!" said Shawn with his horrible Apu accent.

"Ohh ohh! I wanna be Lisa!" Said Maria. "Whose going to be Bart?! Wait I wanna be Bart! Even though he's a guy I mean he seems really cool and I--."

"GUYS!! Were off track! Now Maria, can I trust you and Hunter and Matt to take care of Shawn? And if he needs a stroller, there's one in my house! Ask Matt where it is just in case Shawn needs it!" Said Jeff.

"HEY!" said Shawn. "I DO NOT NEED A STROLLER! I NEED A WAGON!"

"And don't forget the blanket…" said Hunter.

"Why the blanket?"

"Sometimes he falls asleep and he um…well, he 'wets the bed…'" Said Hunter.

"How do you know that?"

"Because, we are DX. He is my tag-team partner. He does things you could never imagine him doing. And don't ask me how I know that." Said Triple H.

"Much obliged." Everyone said.

"OK. Let's go kids…" Said Hunter. "We'll be back in a few Jeff."

"Yeah." Said Shawn. "Unless you wanna come with us t—"

"NO!" Everyone shouted at the same time.

"Aw really guys? I would LOVE to come!" Said Jeff.

"Damnit Shawn!" said a really pissed off-Hunter.

"HeHe. This is going to be fun…"

**&*~&*~&*~&*~&*~&*~&*~**

"NO JEFF! WE'RE ONLY HERE TO GET SNICKERS NOT THE WHOLE STORE!" said Hunter.

"Aw, but Itchweeed is in the mood for everything!" Shouted Jeff.

"_Itchweeed?" _said Triple H.

"Yeah. He calls himself that from _The Hardy Show." _Said Matt.

"How'd he get the name?"

"Don't ask…" Matt said. "No Jeff. Put down that glass vase! No Jeff!" Just then, Jeff dropped it.

"Oppsees!" Said Jeff as he continued on going to the magazine section.

"You brake, you buy." Said the worker.

"Damn. How much?" said Matt going through his wallet.

"Fifty."

"FIFTY?!"

"Just for wasting three seconds of my life, it's one-hundred."

Matt sighed. "I only have fifty." He thought for a moment. "Hunter?"

"What? Don't look at me! I only have…" he said counting his money. "two-hundred…" He whispered as he continued to look at _Playboy Magazine's. "_WOW. I didn't know Maria was on the cover of this issue of Playboy?"

Matt raised up an eyebrow. "And how many of those issues do you have?"

"About…Hm, let's say, more than what your worth." Said Hunter smirking.

"Buuurr--!"

"Shawn, if you say burn one more time, I'm going to hurt you."

"Sorry…"

"Anyways, Hunter, don't you have a wife?" asked Matt.

"Mhm." He said. "It was weird because last week Candice was on the cover and now Maria. Hm. Odd."

"Okay?" said Matt.

Just then Jeff came back with a three handful bags of Skittles and a WWE Magazine. "Hey Matty! Can you pweety pwease buy this for me?"

"OH hell no. I had to pay fifty bucks for some vase you broke!"

"Aw, c'mon? With a cherry on top?" said Jeff.

"NO." said Matt.

"Hm…With two cherries on top?"

"No."

"How about three?"

"NOO…" Now Matt was starting to get annoyed.

"Four cherries?"

"NO!"

"Five cherries?"

"FOR CRYING OUT FREAKING LOUD! NO!"

"Six?"

"NO!!!!"

"Six in a half?"

"I don't care if it's seven, eight, heck ten, I am not buying all of that!"

**&*~&*~&*~&*~&*~&*~&*~**

"I Can't believe I bought all of that…" said Matt.

"I love you Matty so vewy m--." Said Jeff before Matt interrupted him.

"oh don't give me that crap."

"Okay…"

"Now let's go finish your stupid commercial." Said Matt.

"Wait. I walked into Seven-eleven dressed up as a gay-ass pirate and nobody reminded me?!?!" Triple H asked.

"Nope. Now I'm not the only weird one here…" said Jeff.


End file.
